Time to spill the beans & hold my hands up high…. recently I’ve been dropping all the balls in my life, big time! My motivation is clouded in a fugue state of exhaustion & self-loathing at my inability to get the simplest of things accomplished, it really is becoming a major pain in the arse. The only upside to this, is that whenever I tell myself that I’m letting balls drop, I start singing ‘droppin’ the balls, droppin’ the balls!’ to the tune of ‘Breakin’ The Law’ by Judas Priest!
The motivation genie has definitely absconded with my joie-de-vivre & didn’t leave a forwarding address, whilst my self confidence seemed to have upped & left along with my sense of worth.
Now, I really wish I could be one of those people who ‘pull themselves up by their bootstraps’, but I’m not made that way. I’m a thinker & a ponderer, a ‘what if-er’ & a worst case scenario groupie. Deep down I know this inertia is just a form of self preservation (all those self -help blogs have finally come in handy), that it’s a way of keeping me safe from the big bad world of failure & derision, but that it also limits me & holds me back from doing amazing things.
But…. what if? What if I were braver, what if I wasn’t so caught up in my physical appearance, what if I wasn’t scared to put myself out there & wasn’t such an all-round wimp? Would the world implode? Highly improbable & also, let’s be honest, a major over-estimation in my own importance.
So, maybe I will try & be braver, be less of a ‘Debbie Downer’ on myself & try to break through the self consciousness barrier. After all, the advantage to dropping balls is that they bounce right back up again & will continue to do so, no matter how many times you drop them.
Keep bouncin’, chickadees x